Trails
by WindowChild
Summary: Nine years pass. After Edo is found murdered, Judai goes on a search for the rest of his friends. JudaiJohan.
1. Chapter 1

It started with a newspaper. Judai didn't read them often, but had decided, by chance, to pick one up at a local stand. While he often had precognitive notions, this was not one of those times. It was coincidence, at its cruelest.

He had been giving hell to a near-empty bottle of soy sauce when he saw the headline, his eyes running haphazardly over the words. It took him a moment to register the names. Time and life, they had worn the instant recognition away. He knew every last face and name, but their effects weren't instantaneous. It had been nine years.

_Renowned Pro Duelist, Edo Phoenix found murdered. The world mourns, as authorities search for suspects._

He barely reacted, at first. How long had it been since he'd last seen Edo? Just shy of eight years, probably. They'd met once, since school, on accident. So what should he think? Slowly, he put down the bottle of soy sauce. There was nothing in it, anyway.

He cleared his throat, folding the paper into a crumpled rectangle. He didn't want to read the rest. Murdered? Really? And he had felt so much safer since the academy. But they weren't at all, were they? They all had enemies, especially front-liners like Edo.

He clutched the front of the paper tightly, the irrelevant news articles smudging onto his fingertips. The world mourns… the world mourns… Should he turn on the television?

He felt as if every fragment of the kitchen were expanded, thrust through his eyes with renewed clarity. Enlightenment, one might say. It had been too long. Well, that was obvious to anyone. No one had kept in touch. Perhaps the siblings had with each other, but that was the extent of it. Judai had not been the only straggler; he had not been alone in his desire to move on. But now… it seemed all too arbitrary. Edo's death, it was as shocking as it might have been years ago, if not more so. What should he do now?

For a moment, a smile graced his lips. Were the others doing this too, in their apartments? Were Sho, Manjoume and Asuka asking themselves the same questions? He didn't know, but a sorrowful need for ever-evasive meaning sent him to the ceiling. He would take action, then. That was his way, that would always be his way. He would act.

Standing felt good. It was progress, of a sort. He grabbed the paper and stuffed it into a shoulder bag. He would bring it with him. As he stood by the door of his apartment, he fidgeted. What was he missing? With a stroke of inspiration, he raced into his bedroom. His Osiris Red jacket. Dipping his toes into the memories was too much, maybe; he was longing to hold onto something a bit more material, as hope.

It was pressing his luck though, and he should have known. It was too much, all at once. He couldn't just jump back. The days of true Osiris-impulsion were even further behind than he dared to remember, and he couldn't reach for them so quickly. Something was bound to snap.

But, still being Judai, he didn't consider the jacket for another moment. He did stand by the door however, staring over his apartment. For some reason, he felt as if he were leaving it forever.

His home was certainly no extravagance. He was a duelist, he would always be a duelist, but he was certainly not what Edo… had been. His apartment was simple, at first glance. Much like him, it was comfortable, and grew more intricate with time. It was the sort of place that Judai had always wanted to live in.

He placed a callused finger to the light switch, leaving his six rooms in darkness. With a final glance, he locked the door behind him.

As Judai walked, he decided that nothing felt too different about the world. It was likely, as someone had once told him, that not everyone dueled after all.

He stood tall, his impeccable posture glaring against the rest of his personality. His head was always drawn upward, his slight cowlick pulling his neck like a string.

Where to first? It wasn't as if he knew where they lived. Not any of them… he thought sadly. But his feet had a mind of their own, and they decided to walk in the direction of the duel arena. There would be a memorial of some kind, maybe. The others might come, maybe. All possibilities were slim and hazy, but Judai knew they were the only ones on the horizon. There were other ways to go about this, yes, but they involved research and phone calls. Judai was a doer, not a thinker.

So he continued. As he did so, memories came filtering back. Of Edo, mostly. He felt sadder and sadder as he reminisced, recognizing the tragedy with honesty rather than sentimentality. The world had lost a great man. And murder… It was so much colder than any of the danger they'd faced before. It was reality, it was something unfixable. There was no way to be brought back from that kind of fate.

The walk was long, he knew. It might take him over an hour, if he didn't find a bus or something. As if to help him with his search, a sign appeared. A bus stop.

While he waited, and even after he boarded the bus, he allowed himself to consider his other friends. Sho, the boy who had once been his closest companion. It was hard to picture him as a man. Even after all he'd grown, both in height and confidence, it was hard to imagine him any differently than the way he'd once been. It was the same with the others. Manjoume, Asuka. Was Manjoume a father, moved beyond his petty envies; was Asuka fully grown as well, holding some force of power of the world? He didn't know, but a small part of Judai could not wait to learn. This was an adventure, in its way. Revisiting a past that he had put aside, rather than forgotten.

He took a breath, smiling in spite of himself at the approaching arena. Edo had been lost already, but maybe it was not too late to find the others.

A/N: The continuation of this may not be what you expect. There will be other character deaths, although it certainly be Spiritshipping, as I say in the summary.


	2. Chapter 2

Judai stepped off of the bus, a quirky smile on his lips. He was going to find something, he knew. This search was going to be important.

Under his pant leg, sweat dribbled across his skin in beads. He was nervous, maybe. But it was an excited sort of nervousness, at least. This was a piece of the adrenaline rush that he used to know.

Even as he approached the entrance of the arena, he knew that he'd come to the right place. The gray walls were glorified with life-size pictures, Edo reigning over each one of them. Judai smiled for just another moment, and then swiftly felt his chest go numb. His old friend was watching, then. He was encouraging him to do this right… to get revenge? Judai didn't know. Edo – and everything surrounding him – had nearly always been foggy and ambiguous. And this situation had a fate all unto itself, it seemed.

With an expression evenly mixed of sorrow and hope, he stepped through the arena's entrance.

"ID?" a guard asked, stopping him. He was frowning, although there was no way of telling whether it was Edo's doing or not. When Judai looked confused, the guard continued. "There's no match for a couple of days, son. You need an ID to get in."

With a mumble, Judai gave the guard his name. Often times, this got him access to places. His dueling was not as renowned as his world-saving had been, but he was still somewhat acclaimed. He could have been far more than that, of course, but fame was something he'd rejected.

The guard looked hesitant for a moment, and then shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir." Judai keenly noticed the change of address. "After last night's events, I can't let anybody without an ID in."

"Last night?" For some reason, Judai had had the idea that the murder had happened a few days ago.

The guard nodded, his expression tired. "Our top duelist, Edo Phoenix. He was found murdered in his dressing room."

"His dressing room?" Judai decided it might be a good idea to read the rest of the article. Apparently there was a lot he'd missed.

"Yes, sir. Right after a match." He shook his head. "He was so young, too. So much promise."

"He was an old friend of mine," Judai said, his voice taking an unmistakable dull quality. He nearly frowned at himself, disappointed in his own tone.

"Really? Oh, I'm sorry then. Didn't know he had many friends."

"From school," Judai supplied. "A few years back. I haven't seen him since then."

The guard looked sympathetic. "I'm very sorry. I know the funeral's on Thursday, if you'd like to go. Open casket, and everything. If you'd like to, you know, say goodbye."

Judai gave a thankful nod, polite and short, just as a thought struck him. "He didn't have many family, though. Who's arranging the funeral?"

"Hard to say," the guard replied. "His own money's paying for it," the guard shook his head again, "I shouldn't tell you this, but his closest friend's completely broke. He couldn't do the paying. But he's arranging the details, I'd guess." Saoiu.

"Alright, thank you," Judai said. They'd still been friends, then. Well, that wasn't too surprising. There was something more important about this, though. If he went to the funeral, Saoiu might – would – be there. That would be a start. He gave a nod of thanks to the guard, and then turned away.

Judai paused outside of the building, eyes glued to one of the posters. He still felt as if he needed to get inside the arena, but there was no way of arranging that now. He'd have to be patient, which was certainly not his strong point.

Edo's picture was a good one. He was not smiling, having never sold his arrogant appearance for something shinier. Judai was proud of him, for that. While his persona was not one that Judai particularly admired, it was impossible to deny that Edo had identity. He hadn't lost himself, ever, and he was the only one. Everyone else had… there was hardly a word for it. Blurred, maybe. They'd been battered by predicament, and hurt beyond normal understandings. Obviously, they had been changed. Edo had too, but it was different. His core had been present, in its mature form, from the very start.

It had been different for each of them, Judai explained to himself, although it was easy to say that it hadn't been. They'd all needed a period of time to understand, and some had taken longer than others. That was the problem, then. Everyone had taken a separate path, in order to find their – for Edo's sake – destiny. They had been following different trails all of these years, and it was so hard to find one another again. But he would do it, Judai thought. He had been the last and the longest, to come to a place of contentment, and this was his duty. After all, it always came down to him.

As he boarded the bus for the second time, Judai mused upon something else. He had convinced himself of this search at least three times, already. But why? He had never _lost _his agreement, had he? Shaking his head, he decided just to be quiet. This was why he tried not to over think.

Where to next? The bus doors closed, and Judai was left to think, once again. He needed to be around duels, he told himself. That was the answer. With another smile, this one closer to his classic apparel, he stepped off of the bus. He knew where he was going.

A/N: I'm not sure if this is going to be relevant, as I would have no idea, but please know that I've never seen Yugioh 5D's. I don't know if this will mess up the continuity or anything, but please be aware that I'm completely ignoring it. Thanks for reading! Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Judai flipped over a wad of cash to the flight attendant, proud to have enough on hand. On occasion he forgot to bring money with him at all.

"Where are you going?" she asked. Her face was perfectly manicured, her eyes lined with an artist's touch.

"Duel Academy Island," Judai replied. In his mind, he was laughing, although he didn't do so out loud. There was something nice about the fact that Duel Academy had become its own destination.

She handed him his ticket, relaying his flight and gate numbers. "Have a nice trip," she said sweetly, her red lips pulled in a professional smile.

"Thank you," Judai replied. He headed quietly to the café, purchasing some food for the plane. Plane food was one thing he'd grown out of over the years. He had loved it, at one point, but maturity had brought a certain realization about it.

The flight seemed to board too quickly, and Judai's heart was soon pounding. It was adrenaline, he knew, but in a different way than dueling was. When he dueled, the adrenaline was freeing and inspiring. But now, it was more fear evoking than anything else. The buzzing in his ears seemed to glue his feet to the linoleum, forcing extra effort into every step.

Once in his seat, the flight television brought back thoughts of his PDA. He'd lost it or something, losing all of the old numbers with it. He had an urge to call one of them now, every little thing provoking a flushed excitement from him. He felt almost feverish, warm and jumpy.

Who would be at school? Would anybody? How different would it be? The thoughts raced back and forth, as he gripped the armrests with unintentional force. He didn't know that anyone would be there, for one thing. Even the teachers could have retired.

Well, there were chances, though. Asuka had intended to go back. She wanted to be a teacher, maybe. And as far as he knew, Kaiba still owned the place. No matter who or what he would find at his old school, it would still be _his _place. He had lived there, and he had become himself. Even if he were the only one there, he would find something there to help him with this. It was one of those times where Judai would have readily guaranteed his naive faith.

Just as quickly as the plane boarded, it seemed to land. Judai angered a mother and her son, as he tried to rush to the exit.

"Sorry," he murmured, rubbing the back of his head. He looked away, smiling in embarrassment. She frowned, putting a protective arm around his son.

Why was she going to the island? Perhaps, she was there to enroll the little boy.

By the time Judai had climbed down the plane's ladder, his legs were shaking. While the other passengers – perfect strangers, although Judai nearly saw them as his audience – could never understand, this was a moment that meant a lot to him.

Had he been someone else, the first sight of the school would have driven him to weeping at his knees. He didn't though. He took off his shoulder bag, placing it on the ground so he could move more freely.

He had done it. It had only been a few hours since Edo's death, and he had returned to their alma mater. Hopefully he would find some answers for them both. Even in his flooded mind, he could hear Edo's voice loud and clear. Impulsive. Reckless. Useless. Was it bad, then, that Judai's internal responses were all smug and uncaring? He was here, wasn't he? To him, at least, that meant more than anything.

Another step forward, and he felt another jolt to his system. The view of the place – the building, the grounds, the dorms… It was all clearer now. A little fuller with every step, just like everything else seemed to be.

He gasped, laughing and panting all at once. This euphoria was too overwhelming, something he couldn't take in. Especially the dorms. He turned his back on those, willing only to face them later. Others might have been irritated by the crowding sensation of this sight, but not Judai. He had waited too long, and now he knew he shouldn't have. That was his answer maybe, although there was still so much else to be done.

Without further nostalgia, he strode his way firmly to the doors of the school. Pressing his hand to the door, he took a moment and allowed it to bring him back. God, it had been too long. No matter what he found, he swore to himself, he wouldn't let himself wait this long ever again. He still didn't feel right in his life maybe, but being away from his past only made things worse. He needed to embrace it, he guessed, in order to feel better.

A group of school girls walked by, younger than he ever remembered being, and he waved to them.

"Um, hello. I'm Judai Yuki –"

The rest of his sentence was drowned out, as all five girls began to giggle and blush.

"Oh, Mr. Yuki!" one of the exclaimed, before collapsing into more laughter.

"Is – is – where's the principal?" Judai finally spit out, unsure what else to say.

"In his office," one choked out, amidst hysterics.

"Right," Judai replied, nodding. "Thank you." He headed down the familiar hallway, with a minimum number of glances to the spluttering girls.

Had he been a bit more self-involved, he might have understood the reason. While in the real world it took people a few minutes, at Duel Academy he was a constant celebrity. _The_ Judai Yuki. Someone cynical might have believed that he liked it there purely for the attention.

He had barely knocked against the office door, remembering countless times they'd been called there in first year, when it swung open. Did they expect him, Judai wondered foolishly.

But no, there stood the mother and son from the plane. She was smiling now, an arm _still _around her son. Judai noticed it perhaps, because it made him ache. Neither he, nor any of his friends for that matter, had ever had mothers quite so affectionate.

The man she had been speaking to stepped into full view then, and Judai's jaw dropped into an automatic frowned. He was a stranger, and certainly not Samejima. He was young, with sleek brown hair and young eyes.

The man stepped just far enough from the doorway to spot Judai, and his expression changed to one of complete surprise. He stood still, his mouth curled into a perfect 'o'.

"Why Mrs. Lowe, you've come on an excellent day. This – this is Judai Yuki."

The woman turned, hands on her hips. "You mean, the man from all of those stories?" she whispered, more to the new principal than to Judai himself.

He nodded quickly. "Mr. Yuki, come right in." He waved at the woman, his diplomacy so mastered that it hardly looked as if he were brushing her away.

"I'll be speaking to you soon Mrs. Lowe! I'm sure we'd be happy to have your son!" He shut the door then, turning to Judai with hands clasped.

"I'm Mr. Tanaka," he said, after a moment or two of silence had passed. "I started in this position about two years ago."

"Where's Principal Samejima?" Judai asked, lacking the exact tact that Mr. Tanaka held.

The other man's expression melted, into a clearly practiced expression of sorrow. Why was it, Judai wondered, that no one acted candidly anymore/ Beginning with Edo's poster, every face he'd seen had been beautifully carved and rehearsed.

"He passed away, three weeks before I took the position. That's why _I _took it, you see." He looked nearly ashamed, smiling modestly. Judai noted it only with a nod, realizing that this man was most likely younger than he was.

"He died?" he finally asked, quietly. That seemed… nearly more impossible than Edo's death. While he had people enemies too, of course, it was not the same. Edo, despite his strength, seemed somehow vulnerable. Samejima had never been. He was merely a figure, hardly human in Judai's eyes. And yet, Edo's death made it nearly impossible for him to react. Two of his old friends (if you could really call Samejima that), were now gone. He felt almost confused, although he was uncertain why.

"Yes Sir," Mr. Tanaka said, nodding grimly. "I'm very sorry that you did not know."

"Well…" Judai pressed, his optimism prevailing as it so often did. "What about Asuka Tenjoin? Is she… is she teaching here?"

If possible, Mr. Tanaka's lower lip stretched a little further. His eyes seemed impossibly large and circular. "My dear man… how long have you been away?"

A/N: And I leave you there, with the hope that you'll review : ). As I said before, while there will definitely be a pleasant end of Spiritshipping, I can't promise you much else. But keep reading, and we'll see if you like it anyway. Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: You may or may not begin to guess the direction this is going. Please note, there's nothing supernatural about it, unless you want to count karma.

"What do you mean?" Judai asked. He rubbed at his dry lips, his comfortable demeanor preventing him from seeing straight through the principal's upturned expression.

"Perhaps you should sit down," Mr. Tanaka said. "Here. Please. It is wonderful to have you here, Mr. Yuki." While he sounded sincere, there was a bit of a bite to his voice. Judai only caught the icy dribble of it, and remained confused.

"Judai," Mr. Tanaka began. "How long has it been since you've been in contact with Asuka?"

Judai opened his mouth, but the other man swiftly cut across him.

"That is, I know you two were friends. All history books of the school have it in there. You dueled together many times, didn't you?"

Judai nodded. "There are history books?"

"Oh yes. But that's not important. Also, you knew her brother Fubuki?"

Another nod. Fubuki… Judai had thought shamefully less of him, than many of his other friends. For one reason or another, it was as if he and Fubuki had never been on the same level. They had never felt like peers, which even _Ryo_ and Judai had occasionally. This was odd in it of itself, but perhaps it was because Fubuki's spirit was the only one bright enough to rival Judai's.

"Well, Fubuki died, about…" he tilted his head back, counting on his fingertips, "Five years ago."

"Fubuki's dead?" Judai's eyes widened, his jaw dropping almost comically. Edo's death had been a blow, and Samejima's a surprise, but Fubuki? He had seemed untouchable, always. Edo had enemies, Samejima had aged, but Fubuki had never been a cause of concern. This crossed Judai's mind first, before the inevitable sorrow. That hit him a moment or two later, as he realized that now a third friend was gone. He would never see Fubuki again, just like Edo and Samejima. It seemed, that for the moment, he had to think of it that way. He could not fixate over individual traits, or he would be stuck forever in this cycle. The grief would never end, if he indulged himself to mourn them individually.

Instead, a deep burning sensation replaced the hope in his heart. He felt an unfamiliar thing, which took him a few silent minutes to identify as dread. He'd rarely felt it, ever, but it seemed to consume him now. This self-assigned quest had purpose, it seemed, if only to uncover the raw truth. Edo, Samejima, Fubuki… Judai shut his eyes, forcing his dwindling hope to reshape and expand.

"What about Asuka?" he asked. "Where is she?" He was nearly shouting, although he did not realize it. "She and Fubuki were always so close… she must be heartbroken."

"We don't know where she is, Judai," Mr. Tanaka said. He sighed, addressing the duelist by his first name, at last. "She had been working here a year, when she disappeared. After her brother's death, you know. She had few friends, and we knew it must have been hard for her to get on all by herself."

He had certainly not intended this as an insult, but Judai took it as an honest knife to his ribcage. Guilt entered his system, rushing down his arms in sweat. She had been without friends, because Judai had never bothered to look for her. Or for the others. Had they looked? Had Sho or Manjoume tried to find her? Edo had been alive then, he could have as well. So that guilt was to be shared, Judai decided. He rarely came to this conclusion, but on this particular occasion, it seemed to be a savior. Reasoning that they were all at fault set the notion that perhaps the others would be found, and subsequently told. He wouldn't blame them, of course. He _didn't_ blame them, in fact. No, he only blamed himself. And if – no, _when_ – he found the others, he would merely be overjoyed to see them. In the corner of his eye, he pictured Sho. It was a young Sho, adorned in an Osiris jacket. Still though, it sent a shiver down his spine. They'd been best friends, hadn't they? He could hardly wait.

"Asuka had many friends," Judai only said. It was not cold, but more of a correction. "She was always very popular. What about Momoe and Junko? Are they here?"

"Momoe and Junko?" Mr. Tanaka looked confused. "I've never heard of them." No… Judai thought, smiling in spite of himself. They probably wouldn't be in any 'history books'.

All at once, he felt his spine shudder and hunch. He felt very heavy, his weight pushing him to the floor. This man was an imposter to his memories. He had done nothing wrong, but Judai did not like him sitting in Samejima's chair. It felt disrespectful. Once again though, Judai had to set himself straight. Samejima had been gone a while. He had only found out now, because he had only bothered to look now.

"Can I get anything for you?" Mr. Tanaka asked. He looked nervous. "Water, maybe?"

"Yes please," Judai muttered, his throat scratchy. He felt as if his skin were sticking together, strangling his breath.

Mr. Tanaka hurried away, leaving Judai alone in the office. One glance at the chair did it, cracking him at last. He put a hand over his face, sobbing dryly as he remembered more and more. Their first year, their second… His friends, his best friends, falling farther from him as time went on. Even during school, they seemed to grow less close with every day. And of course after school, the ties that had bound them broke completely. He could not summon true tears though. It had been too long, and his sorrow was overrode by this fiery feeling of anger and dread. Besides that, it was too much to take at once. Asuka was someone dear to him. He had never loved her romantically, but she had still held a piece very near to the center of his heart. He could not begin to understand her disappearance. Even though they were not sure of her whereabouts, he knew that he would never find her. No matter how hard he looked, he had that terrible sinking sensation that she had left him forever. And so he could not think of her yet.

These painful sobs, his shoulder muscles quaking against his sides, they were for the others. He would lament Asuka another day, when he could do her justice.

Mr. Tanaka returned then, carrying the water, and Judai did not even pretend. He stayed curled up in his chair, feeling more a teenager than the young man he'd grown into.

"Here," Mr. Tanaka said.

Judai reached out to take the water, but then realized that the principal had put the glass on the desk. He crinkled his eyes in confusion.

"This book," Mr. Tanaka continued, "Should have the addresses of your old friends. You want to find them, I'm guessing."

"Thank you," Judai said hoarsely, taking the books with trembling fingers. "Is this what you meant by history book?"

"No," Mr. Tanaka replied. "Those are something else. I'd like to ask you about them some day, if that's alright. There are some things in there that, well, don't quite seem accurate."

The duelist smiled again now, recognizing what this near-stranger probably meant. "I can answer you now, I think. It's all true. Every word of it."

Mr. Tanaka's eyes widened, and he met Judai's. "Oh my…"

A/N: That's all for now, I think. Judai will look for the others soon, although I'd say there won't be more than five more chapters, maximum. I've figured out exactly the order I want him to look for them in, which is nice. Anyway, I hope you review! Feedback is both encouraging and helpful, so I really beseech that leave it behind.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: It's been a while since I've updated, I know. I'm really sorry, life just got a bit too busy. Anyway, I have returned! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!

Judai flicked through the thin pages of the book, fingers trembling. He couldn't tell whether he was excited or nervous, but his limbs wouldn't leave him alone either way.

He passed Kenzan's name, glancing at it with a bit of regret. He missed Kenzan sometimes, but… It was just not the same. There were others who he had to find first. He realized, with a slight shake of his head, that he and Kenzan had once been close. However, that relationship was nearly forged, if only because of Kenzan's blind admiration; Judai tried not to dwell on it. After all, more important things had been lost. Kenzan's awe was far from significant, at this point.

He stumbled upon Manjoume's name next, and pumped a fist in the air. It was exhilarating, this quest of sorts. And despite his grief for the others, he found his adrenaline functioning in a new way. More like it used to. He let every impulse empower him, the persuasion of sorrow invigorating his body rather than leaving it to crumble. A smile on his lips, he clutched the book and ran back to the edge of the island. Time to go again.

As the plane sped away, smoke spiraling out its behind, his eyes went everywhere but the window. He didn't want a "last glance", because this wouldn't be his last visit here. He'd come back, he swore to himself.

The ride felt longer than the one coming had, and finally, Judai thought of Asuka. His respects for her were paid in memories rather than tears. He drifted off to sleep, her face as soft as a lullaby. Whether she had moved or died or been lost at sea, he knew from the bottom of his soul that he'd never see her again. It hurt, but not like he thought it would. Less than he thought it would. Perhaps, a little bit, he'd been lying all along. To himself, to everyone. But he was tired, and the thought didn't make the impact that it should have.

Waking felt like falling – to remember their ends all over again – but despite it all, he felt his insides grow calm. This extra charge was all he had needed, maybe. He had needed someone to save, or in this case, people to avenge. Electricity jutted into his mixed up mind, and he shut out all thoughts. Of his friends, of the academy. It would all be relevant, but only in the end. Not yet. Not quite yet.

He took deep breaths, and focused on Manjoume's address. Or as close as Judai could ever come to focusing, in any case. He found it produced a sharp snap inside his ears, and purchased food in the airport to quell the strain. He'd never excelled at giving undivided attention anyway, and ate his snack with a sloppy smile.

Once the last bite was ingested, he threw out the wrapper and headed to the taxi stand. Taxis were a luxury he avoided by habit, but he worried he would never find the place otherwise. Manjoume lived in an unfamiliar ever.

He murmured the numbers and street name to the driver, who cocked his head. "You mean the Manjoume Towers?"

Judai gaped. "The what?" he asked.

"The Manjoume Family Towers," the driver repeated, grinning and nodding. He straightened his shirt, as if realizing that Judai was an important person. "That's where you're going?"

Judai paused a moment, still taken aback. "Yeah, I guess so." He rolled down the window. "Thanks." He stared down at the book, wondering if it was a mistake. They must have put Chosaku and Shoji's addresses, perhaps because they didn't have one for Manjoume. He sat in silence, hands twitching, waiting to see where he was going.

The building was no disappointment. It hit him with a wave of nostalgia, painfully mirroring Manjoume's school dorm. The sprawling windows, the garish glass. All Manjoume. Or the Manjoume family, perhaps, rather than Jun. He smiled a little at the thought of his rival's first name, thinking of how the cocky duelist would scold him. He missed those days. Climbing the steps, Judai realized that any of the brothers could own this place. They seemed to have the same ridiculous tastes.

He entered, nearly jogging over to the receptionist with anticipation. "I am here to see Manjoume Jun, please."

The receptionist – a pinned up, upright woman of fifty or so – blanched, and then darkened to an embarrassed scarlet. "Jun?" she whispered, some inadvertent movement behind her dark eyes. "Jun… " She paused, her far away expression settling back into the present. Who are you?" she asked, straightening up. A bony hand reached up to pat her bun, straining to correct stray hairs that weren't there.

"I'm Judai Yuki," Judai said jovially, massaging his own mound of hair. He didn't realize that he was copying her.

She gaped, revealing two rows of identical teeth. "Oh…" she uttered, the phrase slipping out before she could control herself. "One moment." She disappeared then, ducking through a doorway into the back. Judai peered over the counter, trying to glimpse what was going on. She recognized his name, then, he realized. Even he wasn't that dense.

"They're ready for you," she muttered, keeping her eyes on the marble surface of her desk. "You can go up. Sixtieth floor."

"Thank you," Judai replied, smiling kindly at her unresponsive form. "Thanks a lot." He strode into the overdressed elevator, pressing the button with an oblivious nature of excitement. He hadn't analyzed her reactions, the way most other people might have. He merely expected Jun's spiteful words to hit him, like guilt-filled bullets, for staying away so long.

The doors opened, revealing what appeared to be golden vomit (though Judai felt fairly certain in saying they were only decorations), and a rather distinguished-looking Shoji and Chosaku. They'd both gone gray, too, and somehow it made them look far gentler. They were whispering animatedly, quickly rising at the sight of him.

"Judai," Chosaku greeted him, as Shoji nodded. They were not warm, but they would have no reason to be. If acquaintances at all, the three would have to be classified as enemies.

"Hello," Judai replied, waving brightly. "Is Man - is Jun here too?"

Shoji touched his brother's shoulder, murmured something, and vanished behind an office door. Judai marveled at how people moved so quickly in this place.

Chosaku cleared his throat, speaking with a low voice. "Do you read the paper?" he asked.

Remembering the one he'd read earlier, that contained the note of Edo's death, Judai grimaced. "Not usually."

Chosaku's mouth dissolved to a firm line, and Judai caught him glancing desperately to Shoji's office. "Jun didn't speak to us for years," he said finally. "It took the anniversary of our parents' deaths to bring him around, mostly because we saw him at the cemetery."

"I'm sorry," Judai muttered awkwardly, trying to fill the silence. He'd never been one to shy away from words before; he worried over effect this place was having on him.

Chosaku acknowledged this a brusque nod, and then continued. "He joined us here, for a few years. The final of the Manjoume brothers." He stopped, looking nearly human. "The public loved it."

"What is this place, anyway?" Judai asked, exhibiting his usual tendencies. He didn't spot Chosaku's pain at all.

"A business," Chosaku replied, coughing absent-mindedly. "We run an insurance

"Wow."

Another nod, and then Chosaku frowned at him. He waited to see if the younger man was finished interrupting, and then continued. "Of course, things went well for a few years." He dropped his voice, hands wringing one another convulsively. "Some people were unhappy, though. They felt we'd cheated them or… other things. They were angry with us. One night, when Jun was heading home, they shot him."

"Shot him?" Token Judai stared with confused, not understanding. "You mean… where?"

"The head," Chosaku replied. "The forehead, I think. They had good aim." He turned, busying himself with papers. "We hadn't had the best of relationships, anyway, but… we hadn't expected that."

In his shock and renewed pain, Judai allowed himself to fall back on anger. "You hadn't? And what did you think voting him out of the family would do?"

Chosaku's olive skin turned to a brilliant shade of pink. "He was only a kid then," he replied. "He was young and stupid, and we made up later. That's not.."

"But you said you didn't have the best of relationships!" Judai replied. "You just said it! And maybe –" He caught off abruptly, sudden dizziness bringing him to his senses. "I'm sorry. This isn't like me." He'd never admit that, at one point, it had been. "I'm sorry for your loss." He turned, pressing the button on the elevator.

"And what about you?" Chosaku shouted, finding his own strength in Judai's sudden defeat. "You just disappeared! You realize that your friends never stopped looking, don't you?"

This was the last straw, and Judai felt his insides key up as the doors swung open. He collapsed on its plush floor, feeling his blood pressure soar. Manjoume, dead. Asuka, dead. Fubuki, dead. Edo, dead. He hid his face in his sweaty palms, rubbing his skin as if to pull away his features. This overpowering discovery, the one he'd sought out, threatened to devour him. He'd never recovered from his school days, not really. He'd pushed them aside, ignored them by ignoring his friends, and look where it got him now? He'd never see them again, would he? He'd never have that moment of reconnecting with it all, of making some sense.

And what was this story Chosaku had told? Jun made up with them? Had the world really changed that much? Had his friends really grown up?

Trapped in this younger body, wearing his _Osiris red coat_, for crying out loud, he felt the isolation of it all. The world had kept revolving, his friends and had kept evolving, and where had he been? Ashamed, oblivious. Trying to push it all aside. Who was he, to expect that they would wait? That the world would wait? He was looking for them now, but it was too late.

"_You realize that your friends never stopped looking, don't you?"_

His jaw quaked roughly, his teeth scraping against one another. Had they really? Had they really looked? That hurt, then, because it really was his fault. Again. Like always. But he hadn't been that hard to find, had he? He'd had an apartment, an assortment of jobs. They could have found him, if they tried… Both a comfort and a slap in the face, the realization came. Maybe they hadn't looked that hard. Maybe it wasn't his fault, but maybe it was all his fault. If they hadn't wanted to find him, maybe they were still hurting too. Maybe no one had gotten over it.

The doors swung open, and he hit the first button he could touch, deciding to go for a ride. So what was this, then? Were they all dead… just because? Or was there something out there, waiting to get him too?

He felt every muscle, every inch of skin, sting and ache. He opened the book again, flipping pages madly. There was one more name he had to check, one more person who he had to look for. He knew the name that he'd never forgive himself for leaving alone. And still, his fingers passed the A's knowing that they were missing something else as well…

M. Marafuji. Ryo was not listed though, and dread puddle together in Judai's gut. Unlike before, where he was only hoping for things to get better, he was expecting the worst. What if there really was someone out there, coming to kill them all? Sho. Sho Marafuji. And he did not live all that far away. If he left now, he could be there before sunset.

In truth, though, Judai was scared. Terrified. These discoveries, these trails he'd forced himself to follow, had led him to dead ends. And while they hurt, while they tormented him and brought back memories he'd hoped to forever leave behind, they were not like this. Finding out that Sho, was… He didn't think he could do it.

But he had to do it. He had to see. In spite of it all, he was Judai. He was someone who tried.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So sorry about the long wait between updates! Thanks for the reviews for last chapter!

The sky blackened into night by the time Judai found a bus, and he stared unseeing up at the stars as it sped towards his destination. Did Sho really own a _house _of his own? It was difficult to remember their lives – his life – ever being simple.

Judai's heart thudded in huge, angry surges of power. Sho. The blue-haired, bespectacled boy flitted through his mind, and he couldn't bear that thought that anything had changed there.

But then… what did that mean? _Death _would have frozen Sho as the boy he remembered; only _living_ could have changed him. … Growing up.

Judai cracked his knuckles against his knee, frowning. Was he such a horrible person? Living in a bubble all these years, he'd forced himself into a state of oblivion where he hadn't had to ask those questions. Once he moved past the cold, empty feeling of isolation, he reveled in the peace it brought. No more guilt. No more pain. And he kept dueling, so it wasn't like he missed much…

The scenery out the window changed, skyscrapers contracting into modest homes. Judai's mood could not remain so sour for long, and he wondered if Syrus had found himself a wife. A family. Children? Did he have children?

He forced laughter back down his throat, not wanting to alarm the other bus passengers. His imagination swelled with images of a girl with cerulean pigtails, carrying her father's sweaty hand on the way to school.

His selfishness at wanting the world to stay the same – no matter how unruly it had been – vanished, and Judai found himself hopeful for his friend. Perhaps the emptiness in his life would be mirrored by a blissful fullness in Sho's. He could only hope that _one_ of their old gang could have found some happiness. Before worse thoughts could come – thoughts about how their other friends obviously hadn't found happiness – the bus pulled to a stop.

Judai descended the steps with a baffled expression, searching blindly for the address in the directory. For all he knew, Syrus had moved. For all he knew, there was more than one street with the same name.

He strolled up the street, carefully checking every address. Red house, white house, gray house. The numbers counted up and… Judai took a deep breath, finding Syrus's number as the last in the row. A squat, well-kept blue house.

A smile flitted to Judai's face, and he climbed the steps with a buzzing confidence. Shades were drawn in front of the window, so he stared at the chipped walls for only a moment before ringing the doorbell.

Silence spread for a solid minute afterward, and his stomach began sinking. No answer? Being Judai, unable to give up, he harassed the doorbell a moment more.

"Who's… who's there?" The voice sounded nervous, suspicious, but unafraid. It had a tiny incline at the end that sent Judai's excitement sprawling.

"Sho! Sho! It's me! Me, Judai!"

More silence. No cry of 'Aniki' met his ears, no footsteps rushed towards the door.

"Sho? Isn't that you in there? … Sho?"

Careful, controlled patters moved toward Judai. A moment passed, and then the door opened at last.

Sho did look mostly the same. He was taller, older, but his blue hair was cut in the same fashion. He wore no uniform, but his clothes were as neatly pressed as his Duel Academy jackets once were. Judai was pleased to see he wore the same pair of glasses, or at least a pair very similar to his old one.

"Judai?" Sho stared up at him, gray eyes wide in disbelief. "That's really you?"

"Yes, it's really me," Judai said, spreading his arms wide as if to reveal himself. He had a speech half-planned from the bus, but it flew from his head. What was there to say to a boy he hadn't seen for so many years?

"You're… you're alive?" His oh-shaped mouth thinned into a line. "We looked for you… we looked for you for years."

"We?" Judai gasped, breathless. They'd all been together without him. Or, more correctly, they'd been together _because _of him.

"We would talk all the time for a few years. We tried to find you." Sho turned his face away, his eyes hardening. "… We thought you were dead."

Judai straightened his back, his own eyes the opposite of Sho's. They opened wide, wanting an answer. Sho looked the same, but he acted without a trace of the vulnerability he'd once possessed. Hardened by years or by circumstance?

"Oh Sho… I tried to find everyone! They're all gone!"

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think that's _why _it got too hard to see each other anymore? After Ryo – after Ryo – " he cut off, his voice quivering every-so-slightly.

"After Ryo what? After Ryo _what_, Sho?"

Sho looked up, face rippling as if layered over water. "My brother died of a heart attack, only four years after we graduated. Everyone started slipping away from each other after that."

Another swipe to Judai's gut. Ryo gone. Invincible, honorable Ryo _gone? _Didn't he deserve a reprieve, if anyone did? But… Judai reminded himself, Ryo received his reprieve years ago.

"Sho… I'm so sorry. I've – I've been hunting for you now, all of you. I can't believe everyone's – "

Sho's expression likened to an angry owl; his wide gray eyes pinched at the corners in unparalleled anger.

"I can't help wondering…" Judai added, because he had to know. "Is someone after us? Is someone after all Duel Academy students?"

Now Sho's expression vanished, replaced by one of shock, before it returned to an even angrier stance. "Not everything is about villains Judai. Not every tragedy has someone to defeat. They died because… they died for different reasons. If someone's out to get us, it's only karma for our past. For _your _past." The last bit cut Judai hardest, and he shut up. Of course it was true. He'd done more harm than any of them, he thought. Or almost any of them…

"Are – are they all gone then? Kenzan and – and…" He had to ask, however much he dreaded the answer.

"I don't know," Sho replied, his expression softening. "It got too hard to stay in touch after a while… we stopped talking. I had lived here with Ryo, so eventually I just…" He shrugged. "But I have a question for you Judai…"

"What is it Sho?" Judai asked, eager. Maybe this was a breakthrough!

"If you were alive all of these years, why didn't you find us? Why didn't you come and find me and see how I was all of these years?" Sho looked angry, furious, but mostly he looked hurt. Neglected. Well, that wasn't new…

"I am so sorry, Sho," Judai said, summoning all the sincerity of his skin into his voice. "I – I needed to get my thoughts together. I spent all these years trying to find myself, but the truth is I think I need my friends to do that… And now – " Unexpectedly his voice broke, and he found himself fighting sobs.

"No," Sho said quietly. He stepped back, appraising Judai carefully. "You've never needed anyone but yourself, Judai. You're lying if you say otherwise. I'm – _I'm _sorry." With tears on his face, he stepped back inside the house and shut the door. Stunned, Judai vaguely registered the slick movement of a lock behind the door.

Feeling himself reach breaking point, dangerously close to slipping over, he slunk down the street in search of a bench. Tears meandered uselessly down his golden cheeks, coming and coming until he couldn't see the path in front of him. Finally, a decent six blocks from Sho's home, he slipped onto the sidewalk in surrender.

Each breath had to wobble through his trembling lips, shaking the air as it escaped. He sat on his knees, arms covering his contorted face. Stupid Osiris jacket… he shouldn't have worn it. He could only imagine what that must have seemed like to Sho.

His shoulders jerking helplessly, he truly wondered what he would do next. _Was_ there anything to do next? What if he just stayed here forever, would that be enough to pay for his mistakes?

Wailing too loudly to notice, Judai missed the set of careful footsteps that came his way. However, there was no missing the melodic timbre of that voice. _"Judai?" _

A/N: All for now! There's either going to be one or two more chapters, since I haven't yet decided how I'm going to break it up. Thank you so much for reading! Reviews would be greatly appreciated :D.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! Anyway, this will be the last chapter, I think. I s'pose I could do an epilogue, but there's really no need for one. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story and enjoyed it, I really appreciate it your feedback. :) Onto the chapter.

Judai looked up with a gasp, his eyes drying with surprise. He gaped for a moment, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, unabashedly drinking in the man before him. They hadn't seen one another in such a long time.

The other's face drummed inside his head, warm and comforting with everything it contained. The lopsided smile. The gentle nature. It had matured and changed, of course, but the instrumental pieces were all intact. Finally, he let his eyes slide onto the gemstone pair, completing the moment. They stared at one another for another second, and then Judai managed words.

"Johan... is it really you?" He blinked, clearing the his eyes of remaining mist.

Johan took a long moment to answer, then nodded and sank beside Judai on the ground. Frowning, he replied. "I should be asking you that question." He paused, and Judai dropped his gaze in shame. "Judai, it's been so long..." But Johan was always the caring one, the one who offered Judai comfort, and so he rested a hand on Judai's shoulder. "What's wrong?" he asked, lowering his voice. "Judai... are you crying?"

He shook his head then nodded, unsure about the answer. If he spoke or shifted, Johan might move away; he didn't think he could stand that just yet. "I was just at Sho's house," he said quietly, after some time.

Johan froze a moment and then took his hand back slowly, his expression coarse.

"No!" Judai said emphatically, all too ready to drill the truth into Johan's mind. "I - I hadn't seen him in years, Johan. I hadn't seen anyone really... not - not anyone from those days." That awful, all-consuming guilt sluiced through him, leaving his chest icy.

"You mean... you mean since school?" Johan asked, still frowning. Words had never been such a problem for them before, but they both seemed at a loss.

"Since school," Judai affirmed. He refused to meet Johan's eye. "But when I heard about Edo's death, I... well, I wanted to find out what happened to everybody. Where they all went..." The guilt mingled with sadness once again, and he felt his eyes go bright. Johan surprised him by laying a hand over his, giving him the strength to go on.

"I don't know if you know this," he said, voice hushed with emotion, "but almost everyone is gone, Johan. Manjoume and Asuka... Ryo... everyone." He stopped, swallowing twice to clear his throat. "I thought - I thought Sho was gone too," he said, voice trembling, "which is why I was surprised when he was alive, just - just six blocks away from here." He stopped a moment, pressing a hand over his face. When he continued, it was in a rush. "He didn't want to talk to me, though. He was angry with me, and I don't blame him. Besides, he has a life now...he probably didn't want me to come in and mess it up." Johan squeezed Judai's hand. They hadn't seen each other in so long, yet it was with ease that they slid into their old rhythm.

"But Johan," Judai said, speaking more slowly again, "he made me think that you were gone, and that..." He shook his head, unable to put that kind of sorrow into words. "Anyway. It's some coincidence to find you here." They met eyes again, both pairs creased with sad smiles. "I'm glad you're okay."

Johan sat a moment and then stood, pulling away from Judai for the first time. He strode several feet in front of the curb and then rounded, expression solemn. "I knew about most of their deaths, actually," he said. Judai winced at the easiness with which he said 'deaths' "But only because I kept track of everyone, trying to look for you." His eyes widened, and Judai recognized the deep, irreparable hurt inside them. "They weren't my friends Judai, they were yours. I had no reason to stick around, if you weren't with them. And besides... everyone knows they didn't want me there." He sounded bitter for a split-second but it passed, quickly replaced by a wounded front. He fell to his knees again, hands reaching out as if beseeching an explanation.

"I looked for you. I looked for you all this time, and I thought you were dead, Judai." He blinked rapidly and shook his head, voice husky. 'Why didn't you find me? Why... " He stopped talking, shook his head. "I'm not sure I want to know."

Judai went forward, crouching straight before his friend. He almost reached out, took Johan's hand, but then thought better of it. "I needed to figure things out for myself, Johan," he said softly, no longer pleading. As deeply as he had missed Johan these past years, he knew his time of detachment had been the right decision. He'd needed to feel comfortable inside himself first, before he could let someone else in. Even Johan. "My whole life... I've been on endless trails, the world trying to tell me who I am... I just had to figure it out for myself." He looked up, heart beating double time. Would Johan understand? "But I miss you," he went on, nearly at once, "I always missed you, and everyone else, and I'll never forgive myself for letting them die."

To Judai's surprise, Johan smirked. "Same old Judai, feeling guilt over deaths he didn't even know had happened."

Judai smiled grimly and shrugged. "I could have had more time with them. I could have said goodbye."

They sat beside each other and silence, and Johan did not bother to correct Judai. They both knew that words wouldn't heal his regret; probably nothing ever would.

"Listen," Johan said softly, after some time had passed. "I was actually on my way to the store... my daughter's birthday's coming up, and... well, I have to buy her a present." He grinned.

Judai blanched. "You have a daughter?"

Johan nodded. "Yes. She's four. My - my wife died two years ago." He didn't say that they hadn't been working out. Didn't say that they only stuck together because of her diagnosis.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Judai said. His voice was suddenly less familiar, for he couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't know this man at all. "Never - never mind, then."

"No," Johan said. He was a few steps down the block, but he turned back. "What were you going to say?"

"I... I know you have a life," Judai said softly, "and I have no right to come back into it, but I just wondered if you wanted to have dinner somewhere. Catch up on everything," he added.

Johan hesitated. He almost said no. He almost said that he'd moved on from that life, those times, and that Judai had done the same. Then he reminded himself of the time he'd spent missing Judai, indulging in a brand of heartache he'd never thought he'd know. He remembered that Judai had needed those years alone and that, despise everything that had happened, was heart broken to discover his friends had left him. After all these years, Judai still needed his friends to make him strong.

"Here," he said, handing over a card, "My phone number is on the back. Call me some time, and you can come over. Meet my daughter."

Judai smiled. He'd gotten more than he deserved. "Okay. Goodbye, Johan! I'll see you soon!"

Johan nodded. "See you soon, Judai."

Judai stayed on the sidewalk until Johan disappeared from sight, then he turned and headed back in his own direction. Sadness still welled inside him, disbelief at how so many people could be stolen so young, but... but maybe it would be okay. Johan's face flashed in his mind, the older one along side the one he'd been friends with, and he smiled. Things were not perfect, they would never be perfect, but everything would be okay.


End file.
